Completion with other starts with the decision that completion with others needs to happen. First, you have to take responsibility for everything around yourself, and decide that completion is necessary. Completion with others is not saying “I am sorry”; it is not apologising. It is not about being wrong or right. Completion comes out of responsibility, not out of powerlessness. Feeling sorry comes from powerlessness. It is about declaring to drop the past and the incompletion. You will see that as soon as you do that, others will also open up to completion. First step is to complete with someone random and invoke in them the person you feel incomplete with. Second step is to invoke the person in the mirror and complete with them. Then, the third step is the actual completion with the actual person. Call them, and complete. Take full responsibility and drop the past, and start with the new space of completion.
First thing you need to do is decide: “I have to bring completion with others, with whoever I am living. Even if they don’t want, I will stretch my best and I will decide – I am in the space of completion. Whenever they want, I am open to have them. I am open. I am going to be in the space of completion. Whenever they are also ready, it will become completely complete.”
Understand, completion with others does not mean you are going to apologize to them. Apologizing is not completion. Completion is saying “I am deciding to drop hurting pattern in my life or any incompletion, misunderstanding, I am deciding to drop and I am deciding not to bring them, not to give life to it again.” With the past, you can’t say you were wrong or you are right.
Completion is actually responsibility, not apologizing. Apologizing or feeling sorry comes out of powerlessness but Completion comes out of responsibility. Understand the difference. Now when I am saying, ‘You need to complete with your mother, with your father, with your brother, with others’, I am not asking you to apologize. When you talk to them to complete, you explain: “This is what has been perceived by me. Here, I am not interested into looking into you are wrong. I am wrong. That will only create more and more anger, hatred and suppressed violence. I am only saying one thing: “I am ready to drop the past and its powerlessness, incompletion. I am declaring that I am dropping the past and I am complete. I don’t have incompletion and I will not create any incompletion anymore.””
First step: With a person who is not the person you have an incompletion with. If you are completing with your father, pretend your friend is your father and do the completion with them.
Second step: With a mirror you will sit and talk and do the Completion.
Third step: Talk to the person and do completion. If they are dead, by invoking in the mirror, if you do completion, that’s enough. And if there’s a legal problem, calling them, they may record and create a problem, you don’t need to call them.
For example, you are going to call your mother. Sit with her. Explain from the beginning what all incompletions you developed with her. Make her understand very clearly – I am responsible for it and I am dropping it. You are not saying ‘Sorry’. You are not becoming powerless about it. You are saying, “Yes. I am responsible. I don’t want to get into – who is right, who is wrong. Even if you are wrong, I am only responsible. I am dropping the past and now I want to start the new space with completion. Understand, I am dropping the past incompletion and I am starting the new space with completion.”
You can say similar to: “you are an important person, part of my life, so only when we are complete, I can be complete. Now I am calling you. This, this, this, this has happened. Now I am realizing who is right, who is wrong is not important. I am responsible, so I am deciding to take the responsibility and bring completion.”
Understand. The other person should not feel you are weak. Other person should only feel that you are taking responsibility for it.
cittadyanta kitir nasti mamantar-bhavayediti |
vikalpanam abhavena vikalpairujjhito bhavet || 94 ||
ShivaJnana Upanishad, Vijnana Bhairava Tantra – 94th verse, 22nd technique.
Just consciously feel within, that the mind-stuff (citta) of past memories of incompletion, with its activities as mind, intellect, and ego are not existing in me.
By contemplating this way in your inner-space, dis-identify from the past impressions and the memories of incompletion. Put your active attention at the space of the past happening, relive these imagined impressions and memories of incompletion. Then the mind-stuff, having fully ceased from its present characteristics of forming thought-patterns and cognitions, is complete. Thus, you become complete and achieve the original space of complete completion.
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